Posts
Unmasking the veil of self-deception concealed in the act of consideration.
No doubt, you are convinced that you are prevented from living the life you would like to live because of the many considerations involved. And, furthermore because your situation is so unique and complicated with numerous extenuating factors, it would be impossible, [not to mention, totally selfish] for you to pursue your dreams. There is absolutely no way you would be so thoughtless, disrespectful, insensitive, unaccommodating, and self-centered to put your wants and needs before another. How grand! While you are in the midst of all of your consuming considerations, coupled with the self-effaced picture of how benevolent you are, "to deny yourself these silent aspirations", you conjure up even more elaborately inscribed considerations as a means of sabotage. Not only are you quite adept in the 'art of consideration' but undermining your most passionate desires, without the slightest bit of recognizable manipulation, is simply an sophisticatedly adroit affair. Acting as a master self-deceiving manipulator, your actions are impeccably maneuvered in such a way that no one would ever suspect how much you resent, (inwardly seethe) not being able to fulfill your own heart's desire. You have so crafted your outward gestures of aiding the other, to such a degree, that people actually praise you for being so "understanding", "patient" "kind" "loving" and of course, "considerate".
The idea that you have so many THINGS to consider invariably speaks to the fact that you are hiding beneath a façade of inappropriate delusion. For some reason, {known only to you}, you have chosen to live your life vicariously through another, having convinced yourself that not only is it noble but praiseworthy, as well. You have further convinced yourself that your apparent self-denial is a sign of LOVE in the highest measure of degree. False. Not true. You can not possibly LOVE when you harbor unfinished business within. Nor can you love another when you want something from him/her. {Wanting the other person to be happy, successful, fulfilled... is wanting something} CONSIDERATION is just another convenient word for “not showing up for your own life.” What are you afraid of? What are you embarrassed about? What is it that so terrifies you to think of attempting and failing? Who are you supposedly concerned over upsetting? Why are you really sublimating your desires? {It's really not only futile to do this, but stupid.} You can not hide from yourself. Whatever YOU are, shines through like a locomotive's headlight. Have you ever stopped to think how much energy you are wasting in all of your fruitless considering? The amount of time you spend, mulling the THINGS over in your mind while trying to cover up the subliminal hints being dropped along the way is preposterous.
Consider. Consider. Consider. After you exhaust yourself in the unrelenting act of considering, then you start inventing more things to consider. By this time, {being the charitable person you are} you start worrying about the things you have been considering to gauge whether or not you should or could do more than you are doing. How double grand! When and IF you allow yourself the opportunity and granted permission to possibly envision the attainment conceived in your dreams, you end up feeling unnecessarily guilty for having done so. You might even ponder, once in a while, the most RIGHT and least offensive course of action to take in the matter IF your did decide to pursue. However, you dismiss it rather quickly in favor of staying in good graces with the business partner, friendship, romantic involvement, relationship, marriage, or the significant other. How absurd! How can you possibly tame a wild stallion? How can you "put out" the fire of your own innate enthusiasm? You can't.
The naturally inclined impetus of impetuosity will not let you be. You must answer its wooing call, sometime. Sooner or later, what you've tried so hard in vain to hold down, shut up, BURY {under the guise of consideration} will rise up in unmistakable fury. The artistic creative passion in you will surge like a tsunami on a day when you least expect it. {Overtaking you and all of those around you} You were born to create. To express openly, freely and uninhibited is your natural birth right not to be assuaged. It is sexual in nature. Sexual Energy is the highest form of spiritual energy available to mankind! Music is its affinity, art its cohort, the written word its vehicle and drama its superlative expression. You are the magnificently created concoction in exaltation to be ejaculated while on Earth. There can be no consideration applied. Consideration lies in the passive mode. Make no mistake about it, you are actively engaged at all times completely engulfed by the flames of sacred passion. We all are!
Some might say, “Doesn't one have to consider such things as how many bricks it will take to build or lay a foundation of a house?” In this case, consideration is not linked to personal objectives. It's mere measurement. If 1300 bricks are needed, then 1300 bricks will be secured to actively build the house. Any further discussion concerning the 1300 bricks will be alleviated, once having started the structure. The consideration is tied to reality not escapism. Considering is not an action; on the contrary, it is the undeniable way to avoid action. Unlike effective talking, which states a definite intent, followed by deliberate action, {in line with the project whether it be physical or mental} produces tangible results without lally gagging in the meantime. Far too much time is consumed in consideration. Words are powerful and "magical" in nature. Too much talking dilutes their inherent manifold properties. Considering is nothing more than "deformed magic." Excessive talking that results in more incessant talking about the talking is the true definition of consideration. Any prolonged talk, no matter how intelligent it sounds, or to what emotional extent it appeals, seduces and conjures. It is guilefully inspired to cause consideration and deliberating. Consideration is no more than a seductive trap to snare your attention away from the project at hand: YOU.
Considering anything is totally useless. Your soul conceives, voice and tongue are used to state the intent; your feet to stand, squat or sit, your hands to construct and your passion to invoke and approach the creation with reverence. Then, with ardent appreciation you release it into the universe. {For in reality, you as a singular human being had nothing to do with its inherrent manifestation outside your being used as a divine mode of expression to bring about your individual particular execution of divinity.} The Sacred Intent works through you and your soul without regard of you. The result of your apparent manifestation is of no concern of yours any more than the thought that arrives in your head before you have time to think it. Consideration: once again. Your personal feelings, effort, and concern over such matters are rather boring to say the least and morbidly dull to say the most. Your so-called informed thoughts upon things are somewhat limited. There is always that third omnipresent presence unaccounted for. Thinking that you can be any more educated on a subject by considering all options is fruitless. On the same token, believing that by discovering who your mate cheated with, for how long and in what ways will bring added benefit is erroneous. No causeway or direction can be found to alleviate consideration and concern. Pointless! Get over it. Refuse to speak of it again. {Much more productive and mentally rewarding.}
You are never in a position to comment on a situation that has been decreed from another dimension of the Universe for you to experience. Without consideration, you are to accept the Divine Intent without provocation. Further talk is indolent discussion. Paying attention to how determined you are to negate your relegated passion is necessary for the Great Work. The Great Work is in you, for you and is YOU! Never forget: a divine plan has been implemented for your life. The irrevocable structure will not be decreased, diminished or delayed because of your lack of attention to details. It will merely restrict your ability to break through in understanding of what is taking place currently. In other words, while your world of illusion is shattered, you will most likely try to consider your options. There are none. The direct cause of all so-called unnecessary turmoil, guilt, worry, concern, mental anguish, fear, phobias and anxiety is due to the fact you considered something or someone. You have no way of ever knowing what is to be in its entirety but you can comprehend in full wisdom the exacting truth that nothing will befall that you are not sufficiently equipped to deal with in the divinely ordered experience. So, stop considering.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Finding Your Abode
Losing one's center is a grave situation. Rediscovering the link to the soul's innate enthusiasm is not only vital for an overall improvement in health, reduction in anxiety, but sexually engaging. People inadvertently throw themselves away for a variety of reasons. It is imperative to retrieve this powerful life-sustaining force to ignite and illuminate clear purpose and direction.
How many times have you asked yourself, “Where am I supposed to be?” “What am I supposed to be doing?” “Who am I honestly supposed to be sharing my bed with?” “What do I really want to do with my life?” “In what manner do I want to live?” The answer is clearly obvious: “What are you passionate about?” Not merely interested, involved, love, or even presently studying or pursuing. I’m talking about what fills your physical body with pure raw creative sexual instinctively driven artery exploding, vein pulsating blood pumping fervent enthusiasm? {The one-of-a kind sensual energy (power) that literally sets you on fire, oozing out of every pore, bubbling with each step you take.}Personal charismatic P-o-w-e-r! Unadulterated Power, unstoppable penetrating power that defines the loftiest most elevated spiritual creative vibrational energy available to mankind. Moreover, this sacred personal attracting power is given to all to be used and expressed prodigiously. In other words, you are to walk, talk, breathe, move, make love, sing, dance, build, eat, sleep, read, write, create ‘you and your world’ with this ineffable force.
When you awake in the morning, you’re meant to be flooded with excited ‘raring to go’ thoughts as they hit your head, while at the same time your feet bounce onto the floor in unceasing super-charged sensually ignited movements. Sound unreasonable? Why? Who sold and when did you buy the idea of being anything less than the indescribable sacredly imbued sexual magnet you are inherently designed to be? If this truly is not your present state of existence, tell me what life-draining exaggerated measures do you take to hide the numbed indifference and alienated disconnection you are currently experiencing? How do you {IF you do} bury these annoying sensations? I can assure you IT is difficult, almost impossible, to hide who and what you truly are. {Much less how you Feel!} Unfortunately, it is vividly displayed in full animated horror all over your face and throughout your countenance. What flows; shows! When is the last time you took a real good hard look at yourself? Can it possibly be that you bumble throughout your day hardly aware of your surroundings and/or events taking place right before your eyes? Do I hear you saying, “Nothing much excites me, anymore.” I can’t remember that last time I felt like a clueless scandalous impulsive teenager.” [IF, in fact, I ever did.]
Oh no! You have lost your favored, adored, revered abode. The convenient natural instinctive dwelling place…palace…cantina...igloo…tent…apartment…ranch…camp ground, whatever place you call home. That, my friend is a very SAD thing!
How many times have you asked yourself, “Where am I supposed to be?” “What am I supposed to be doing?” “Who am I honestly supposed to be sharing my bed with?” “What do I really want to do with my life?” “In what manner do I want to live?” The answer is clearly obvious: “What are you passionate about?” Not merely interested, involved, love, or even presently studying or pursuing. I’m talking about what fills your physical body with pure raw creative sexual instinctively driven artery exploding, vein pulsating blood pumping fervent enthusiasm? {The one-of-a kind sensual energy (power) that literally sets you on fire, oozing out of every pore, bubbling with each step you take.}Personal charismatic P-o-w-e-r! Unadulterated Power, unstoppable penetrating power that defines the loftiest most elevated spiritual creative vibrational energy available to mankind. Moreover, this sacred personal attracting power is given to all to be used and expressed prodigiously. In other words, you are to walk, talk, breathe, move, make love, sing, dance, build, eat, sleep, read, write, create ‘you and your world’ with this ineffable force.
When you awake in the morning, you’re meant to be flooded with excited ‘raring to go’ thoughts as they hit your head, while at the same time your feet bounce onto the floor in unceasing super-charged sensually ignited movements. Sound unreasonable? Why? Who sold and when did you buy the idea of being anything less than the indescribable sacredly imbued sexual magnet you are inherently designed to be? If this truly is not your present state of existence, tell me what life-draining exaggerated measures do you take to hide the numbed indifference and alienated disconnection you are currently experiencing? How do you {IF you do} bury these annoying sensations? I can assure you IT is difficult, almost impossible, to hide who and what you truly are. {Much less how you Feel!} Unfortunately, it is vividly displayed in full animated horror all over your face and throughout your countenance. What flows; shows! When is the last time you took a real good hard look at yourself? Can it possibly be that you bumble throughout your day hardly aware of your surroundings and/or events taking place right before your eyes? Do I hear you saying, “Nothing much excites me, anymore.” I can’t remember that last time I felt like a clueless scandalous impulsive teenager.” [IF, in fact, I ever did.]
Oh no! You have lost your favored, adored, revered abode. The convenient natural instinctive dwelling place…palace…cantina...igloo…tent…apartment…ranch…camp ground, whatever place you call home. That, my friend is a very SAD thing!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
ART: Authentic Release Technique
We are all Masters of Divine Essence carrying the authentic impetus of art within
Every single human being that has ever existed or ever will exist is first and foremost an artist. Yes, I said Artist. Each person contains within himself/herself a driving impetus which into art: the need to create. We are all Masters of Divine Essence who have simply forgotten our artistic heritage. Because Art is the true impetus of man, no other motivating force can compare in strength or need to be expressed. {Drama and Music fall into this same revered category} Every living breathing mortal is born with natural and convenient innate talent simply ‘lying repressed’ waiting to be excavated and utilized. A basic daily artistic energy runs through each individual that can be used to create whatever one desires. All that is needed is the realization that this fundamental creative energy is actually available. Most people, if you ask them, will say rather convincingly, “Oh, I’m not an artist. I can’t even draw stick men in proportion.” This one statement alone is where the river of genuine truth divides itself from the pool of falsity. Somewhere between the ages of 9-12, the most influential art momentum is formed. {Where were you and what were you doing during this crucial time?}The artistic momentum is a delicately imbued creature who will not respond positively to ridicule {no matter how minute or unintentional}, pressure to compete and compare, or subjection to evaluation. The will to draw or express creatively will subtly withdraw itself if not nurtured authentically. The fact is: in the beginning, the artistic impetus is gentle, demure and docile. It grows stronger with use as anything practiced becomes more refined. But, if this impetus is not nurtured in a compassionate understanding way, it will wane. Notice I did not say, disappear. IT NEVER DISSAPEARS! It waits in silence, unattended, unrecognized and unincorporated IN THE PERSONALITY until by accident or through unexpected inspiration, it surprisingly surfaces. Everyone, at some time in his/her life, experiences unidentified gnawing restless energy. Not recognizing what it is or how to channel its multi-colored vibrations, it is often times sublimated into other directions that do not necessarily satisfy or fulfill the person’s most basic needs or desires. Early embarrassment is usually what occurs to prevent one from trying to follow his/her artistic urge. Remembering the torturous times, in early grammar school when his/her art work was inadvertently displayed or worse {NOT displayed}, the individual erroneously assumes no talent resides within. Not true. Every individual is artistically endowed with enormous talent. It begins with the appreciation, value and supposed ‘worth’ of the line. My line and your line may be completely different in composition and application, but that does not mean the lines are opposed to one another, nor unworthy. I will make a mark and you will make a mark. My mark in no way interferes with your mark nor is it to be compared. As with our voices, they are totally distinct yet we are not in a race or competition for sound. We are still capable and able to communicate the messages necessary for our individual path in our lives. Every stroke of the pen, brush, chisel is divine in nature. We are not governed, established, maintained, or substantiated by anyone on the outside of us. We, as artists must learn to receive ourselves. We are alive to express. It is as simple as that! If we do not allow the natural and convenient artistic urge to surface, we are not fulfilling a very innate drive to be human and divine. ART is nothing but an Authentic Release Technique. By being bold enough to face and release the “locked and hidden away’ artist residing in oneself, a deliberate door of artistic experience is exposed. To expose that which is buried in the treasure vault of your soul releases and connects with all that exists.
Every single human being that has ever existed or ever will exist is first and foremost an artist. Yes, I said Artist. Each person contains within himself/herself a driving impetus which into art: the need to create. We are all Masters of Divine Essence who have simply forgotten our artistic heritage. Because Art is the true impetus of man, no other motivating force can compare in strength or need to be expressed. {Drama and Music fall into this same revered category} Every living breathing mortal is born with natural and convenient innate talent simply ‘lying repressed’ waiting to be excavated and utilized. A basic daily artistic energy runs through each individual that can be used to create whatever one desires. All that is needed is the realization that this fundamental creative energy is actually available. Most people, if you ask them, will say rather convincingly, “Oh, I’m not an artist. I can’t even draw stick men in proportion.” This one statement alone is where the river of genuine truth divides itself from the pool of falsity. Somewhere between the ages of 9-12, the most influential art momentum is formed. {Where were you and what were you doing during this crucial time?}The artistic momentum is a delicately imbued creature who will not respond positively to ridicule {no matter how minute or unintentional}, pressure to compete and compare, or subjection to evaluation. The will to draw or express creatively will subtly withdraw itself if not nurtured authentically. The fact is: in the beginning, the artistic impetus is gentle, demure and docile. It grows stronger with use as anything practiced becomes more refined. But, if this impetus is not nurtured in a compassionate understanding way, it will wane. Notice I did not say, disappear. IT NEVER DISSAPEARS! It waits in silence, unattended, unrecognized and unincorporated IN THE PERSONALITY until by accident or through unexpected inspiration, it surprisingly surfaces. Everyone, at some time in his/her life, experiences unidentified gnawing restless energy. Not recognizing what it is or how to channel its multi-colored vibrations, it is often times sublimated into other directions that do not necessarily satisfy or fulfill the person’s most basic needs or desires. Early embarrassment is usually what occurs to prevent one from trying to follow his/her artistic urge. Remembering the torturous times, in early grammar school when his/her art work was inadvertently displayed or worse {NOT displayed}, the individual erroneously assumes no talent resides within. Not true. Every individual is artistically endowed with enormous talent. It begins with the appreciation, value and supposed ‘worth’ of the line. My line and your line may be completely different in composition and application, but that does not mean the lines are opposed to one another, nor unworthy. I will make a mark and you will make a mark. My mark in no way interferes with your mark nor is it to be compared. As with our voices, they are totally distinct yet we are not in a race or competition for sound. We are still capable and able to communicate the messages necessary for our individual path in our lives. Every stroke of the pen, brush, chisel is divine in nature. We are not governed, established, maintained, or substantiated by anyone on the outside of us. We, as artists must learn to receive ourselves. We are alive to express. It is as simple as that! If we do not allow the natural and convenient artistic urge to surface, we are not fulfilling a very innate drive to be human and divine. ART is nothing but an Authentic Release Technique. By being bold enough to face and release the “locked and hidden away’ artist residing in oneself, a deliberate door of artistic experience is exposed. To expose that which is buried in the treasure vault of your soul releases and connects with all that exists.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Sense of Urgency
{Learning to Love, Accept, and Embrace the Demon of Self-Intoxication}
That which seemingly defeats us also redeems and exalts us. What are you currently listening to? Would it be the voice of reason, recourse, revenge, residue, recompense, or reverberation? Of the many voices of distraction, conflict and contention within, how does one know what to listen to and what to ignore/delete? Where does your attention flow? Do you find yourself mulling over the same old thoughts again and again and again? Whether they be thoughts of (people, places, things) locked away in the past, worry projected in the future, or nit picky concerns in the present, are you proposing a state of inherent disability? If lingered in long enough, this non-productive self-sabotaging mental process will sap your vitality and destroy your over-all well being. A more definitive term for what you are doing to yourself would be: debilitating self-intoxication. This present state of mind is literally undermining all of your activities. It is coloring your communication with others and inhibiting you from being a fun, spontaneous and creative person. {Which, in fact, IS your natural self when allowed to express freely.} You are giving full reign to a pessimistic never-ending inner dialogue that reduces your ability to concentrate, finish tasks, function optimally, remain cheerful, enthusiastic, interested and helpful. Your level of attractiveness is diminished and sexuality takes a back seat. Boring and uninteresting, you are turning into an old fogy way before your time. {Not that there’s anything wrong in growing old; it should be the most celebrated and glorious part of a person’s life!} But, when we don’t feel ‘good’ about the things we do during the day, like finishing tasks, excessive gossiping or procrastinating, we immediately impress upon the mind guilt with the need to defend ourselves. We end up accusing and attacking others before they have a chance to comment on what we perceive as a poor performance or further yet, we misinterpret whatever comment is made. That obsessive mind set projects paranoia, a victim mentality along with the tried and true “feel sorry for me song.” And, tell me, “Who wants to dance to that tune?”
Let’s face it: none of us like to be seen in a ‘bad’ light. And, we will go to great lengths and heights to prevent the embarrassing and humiliating scenario from occurring If, at all possible. The irony of the problem, however, lies not in our so-called ‘poor performance’ but rather in how we THINK we ought to perform based on the self-projected conditions of others. Not only do we believe we SHOULD act a certain way but we have conditioned ourselves into perceiving we ought to FEEL a certain way, as well. Not true. False. Wrong. We have grown so accustomed to acting and reacting based on a pre-supposed idea of what others “will think of me” IF I don’t or do, that our authentic voice has been buried underneath mountains of over-processed emotional rubble. Have we become so self-intoxicated by a deluded, distorted, disgruntled self-image that we are incapable of recognizing, appreciating and applying genuine worthiness? We are far too concerned with what we believe others think or don’t think about us. We are so accustomed to feeding and fueling our inner negative dialogue, we CAN’T really hear what is being said. We jump to conclusions, accuse others of vicious innuendos, while at the same time, walking on egg shells so as not to offend. A DEPRESSIVE NIGHTMARE: we end up living in a self-created delusional hell of our own making, saying one thing doing another.
Shutting down the incessant self-defeating inner negative dialogue is what “Sacred Work” is all about. How does one do that? There exists a ‘still small voice’ that lingers beneath the accusing drone of self-doubt, self-denial and self-loathing. It abides as clear, constant, calm, gentle and serene, never belittling or condemning. But, in our desperate futile attempts to drown the boisterous mocking penetrating shrill of the fear of self punishment, ridicule, disdain, or self-decline brought on by the nefarious imposter’s inner dialogue, we overstate our value, emphasizing the need to acknowledged and appreciated. Little do we realize that by ‘driving the point home’ of how special we believe ourselves to be, we have but fallen into the trap of morbid self-intoxication. Instead of pushing for more recognition, validation, approval, response, attention from the outside, we need to pause and listen quietly (without habitually reacting) to that ‘still small voice’ that arises from the same place, different flavor. You will instinctively recognize its resounding ‘tone of truth’ because of what it will say and how it will say it to you. The guidance will be in complete opposition to what you would normally do or say. It will seem like foolishness, to begin with. That’s part of getting in tune with yourself. It’s impossible to KNOW what’s really taking place on the inside of you, much less in your world, when you are so fixated on the life-absorbing NEED to be viewed as right, intelligent, informed, witty, or observant. You are investing too much energy in trying to please or appease another with residual emotions filtered through a ‘windmill’ of self-repercussions.
Start by weeding out and dismissing so-called important people from your life who wield too much influence or control.
The bottom line is: self-intoxication drains the very life force out of you. Self-intoxication depletes and decapitates leaving you in a state of numbed indifference and intolerance. We must learn to hear the ‘still small voice’ in our GUT! Bypass the turbulent heart and noxious mind, altogether. The ‘still small voice’ in the GUT is pure raw unadulterated divine instinct. It is where sexual passion originates. And, we all KNOW that sexual energy is the highest form of spiritual energy available to mankind, right? Right there deep down in the Solar Plexus where true innocence dwells and where beguilement never even visits. This is the station where “the first shall be last and the last shall be first” roam freely. We must be willing to receive ourselves completely without question and demise of character. We must learn to trust and obey our own inner most instincts when every aspect (including people) in the reasonable world say do otherwise. We must dethrone the demon of self-intoxication by revealing the false mask he wears.
We will meet him head-on and coax him to surrender by acknowledging that we recognize the importance of his traveling incognito in us. And, that we appreciate his disguise in order to propel us past the point of imaginary wrong doings and slighted hurts. {No matter how REAL they appeared to be.} We will declare with full earnest testimony that it is only through PAIN that we grow and evolve. But, that protection is no longer needed IF we don’t have need or desire to impress or be impressed. Without the supposed enemies to instill, argue with and fight against, how could we ever break out of the chains of CHERISHED identity?
We must remember to love ourselves not because we are so special {no real talent involved in that}, but because we have no need to be. We are ORDINARY human beings just like the other 30 billion or so people residing on the planet with us. To reduce divinity to a human form is an omniscient feat; one not to be taken lightly or irreverently. But to exalt ourselves unnecessarily is to mock the sacred in us. To be extraordinarily divine is our god-given birthright—nothing spectacular about that. But, what is absolutely astonishing and miraculously amazing is being fully HUMAN in an ordinary body with all its frailties, imperfections and ‘supposed’ defects that come along in the make-up. We must truly irreversibly love and honor our human weaknesses as they are the source of our unrequited strength and redemption. “In the Rapture of the Lowly Let ME Feel thee,” should forever be our plea. A Sense of Urgency attaches itself to how well we can accept, love and embrace the demon of self-intoxication because it is a well established fact: we can treat others no better than we treat ourselves. We will continue to meet and greet the same demon in others over and over again unless we witness, address and overcome his bewitching ways. To be entertained by him for a season is quite understandable but to be engulfed by his counterproductive foolery for longer periods of time than is required is rather ridiculous when you come to think about it.
That which seemingly defeats us also redeems and exalts us. What are you currently listening to? Would it be the voice of reason, recourse, revenge, residue, recompense, or reverberation? Of the many voices of distraction, conflict and contention within, how does one know what to listen to and what to ignore/delete? Where does your attention flow? Do you find yourself mulling over the same old thoughts again and again and again? Whether they be thoughts of (people, places, things) locked away in the past, worry projected in the future, or nit picky concerns in the present, are you proposing a state of inherent disability? If lingered in long enough, this non-productive self-sabotaging mental process will sap your vitality and destroy your over-all well being. A more definitive term for what you are doing to yourself would be: debilitating self-intoxication. This present state of mind is literally undermining all of your activities. It is coloring your communication with others and inhibiting you from being a fun, spontaneous and creative person. {Which, in fact, IS your natural self when allowed to express freely.} You are giving full reign to a pessimistic never-ending inner dialogue that reduces your ability to concentrate, finish tasks, function optimally, remain cheerful, enthusiastic, interested and helpful. Your level of attractiveness is diminished and sexuality takes a back seat. Boring and uninteresting, you are turning into an old fogy way before your time. {Not that there’s anything wrong in growing old; it should be the most celebrated and glorious part of a person’s life!} But, when we don’t feel ‘good’ about the things we do during the day, like finishing tasks, excessive gossiping or procrastinating, we immediately impress upon the mind guilt with the need to defend ourselves. We end up accusing and attacking others before they have a chance to comment on what we perceive as a poor performance or further yet, we misinterpret whatever comment is made. That obsessive mind set projects paranoia, a victim mentality along with the tried and true “feel sorry for me song.” And, tell me, “Who wants to dance to that tune?”
Let’s face it: none of us like to be seen in a ‘bad’ light. And, we will go to great lengths and heights to prevent the embarrassing and humiliating scenario from occurring If, at all possible. The irony of the problem, however, lies not in our so-called ‘poor performance’ but rather in how we THINK we ought to perform based on the self-projected conditions of others. Not only do we believe we SHOULD act a certain way but we have conditioned ourselves into perceiving we ought to FEEL a certain way, as well. Not true. False. Wrong. We have grown so accustomed to acting and reacting based on a pre-supposed idea of what others “will think of me” IF I don’t or do, that our authentic voice has been buried underneath mountains of over-processed emotional rubble. Have we become so self-intoxicated by a deluded, distorted, disgruntled self-image that we are incapable of recognizing, appreciating and applying genuine worthiness? We are far too concerned with what we believe others think or don’t think about us. We are so accustomed to feeding and fueling our inner negative dialogue, we CAN’T really hear what is being said. We jump to conclusions, accuse others of vicious innuendos, while at the same time, walking on egg shells so as not to offend. A DEPRESSIVE NIGHTMARE: we end up living in a self-created delusional hell of our own making, saying one thing doing another.
Shutting down the incessant self-defeating inner negative dialogue is what “Sacred Work” is all about. How does one do that? There exists a ‘still small voice’ that lingers beneath the accusing drone of self-doubt, self-denial and self-loathing. It abides as clear, constant, calm, gentle and serene, never belittling or condemning. But, in our desperate futile attempts to drown the boisterous mocking penetrating shrill of the fear of self punishment, ridicule, disdain, or self-decline brought on by the nefarious imposter’s inner dialogue, we overstate our value, emphasizing the need to acknowledged and appreciated. Little do we realize that by ‘driving the point home’ of how special we believe ourselves to be, we have but fallen into the trap of morbid self-intoxication. Instead of pushing for more recognition, validation, approval, response, attention from the outside, we need to pause and listen quietly (without habitually reacting) to that ‘still small voice’ that arises from the same place, different flavor. You will instinctively recognize its resounding ‘tone of truth’ because of what it will say and how it will say it to you. The guidance will be in complete opposition to what you would normally do or say. It will seem like foolishness, to begin with. That’s part of getting in tune with yourself. It’s impossible to KNOW what’s really taking place on the inside of you, much less in your world, when you are so fixated on the life-absorbing NEED to be viewed as right, intelligent, informed, witty, or observant. You are investing too much energy in trying to please or appease another with residual emotions filtered through a ‘windmill’ of self-repercussions.
Start by weeding out and dismissing so-called important people from your life who wield too much influence or control.
The bottom line is: self-intoxication drains the very life force out of you. Self-intoxication depletes and decapitates leaving you in a state of numbed indifference and intolerance. We must learn to hear the ‘still small voice’ in our GUT! Bypass the turbulent heart and noxious mind, altogether. The ‘still small voice’ in the GUT is pure raw unadulterated divine instinct. It is where sexual passion originates. And, we all KNOW that sexual energy is the highest form of spiritual energy available to mankind, right? Right there deep down in the Solar Plexus where true innocence dwells and where beguilement never even visits. This is the station where “the first shall be last and the last shall be first” roam freely. We must be willing to receive ourselves completely without question and demise of character. We must learn to trust and obey our own inner most instincts when every aspect (including people) in the reasonable world say do otherwise. We must dethrone the demon of self-intoxication by revealing the false mask he wears.
We will meet him head-on and coax him to surrender by acknowledging that we recognize the importance of his traveling incognito in us. And, that we appreciate his disguise in order to propel us past the point of imaginary wrong doings and slighted hurts. {No matter how REAL they appeared to be.} We will declare with full earnest testimony that it is only through PAIN that we grow and evolve. But, that protection is no longer needed IF we don’t have need or desire to impress or be impressed. Without the supposed enemies to instill, argue with and fight against, how could we ever break out of the chains of CHERISHED identity?
We must remember to love ourselves not because we are so special {no real talent involved in that}, but because we have no need to be. We are ORDINARY human beings just like the other 30 billion or so people residing on the planet with us. To reduce divinity to a human form is an omniscient feat; one not to be taken lightly or irreverently. But to exalt ourselves unnecessarily is to mock the sacred in us. To be extraordinarily divine is our god-given birthright—nothing spectacular about that. But, what is absolutely astonishing and miraculously amazing is being fully HUMAN in an ordinary body with all its frailties, imperfections and ‘supposed’ defects that come along in the make-up. We must truly irreversibly love and honor our human weaknesses as they are the source of our unrequited strength and redemption. “In the Rapture of the Lowly Let ME Feel thee,” should forever be our plea. A Sense of Urgency attaches itself to how well we can accept, love and embrace the demon of self-intoxication because it is a well established fact: we can treat others no better than we treat ourselves. We will continue to meet and greet the same demon in others over and over again unless we witness, address and overcome his bewitching ways. To be entertained by him for a season is quite understandable but to be engulfed by his counterproductive foolery for longer periods of time than is required is rather ridiculous when you come to think about it.
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